Hey y’all! My name is Stephanie. As I begin writing this blog, I have been in ministry (on staff or as a pastor’s wife) for 27 years, married to my man for 23 years, worked as a mental health professional for almost 18 years, and have been a mom for 16 years. We have two active boys. I am an Alabama girl that now lives in the midwest with 4 real seasons. In this time, I have realized that many people in the church put on masks and spend much of their time pretending that everything is ok. Is that you? I’ll be honest, there are times when that has been me. Was it because of fear of what people would say? Was it because I didn’t know who I could trust? We all have bad days, difficult situations to navigate, and sometimes feel unsure about what to do next. Just so we all know, I am not perfect and have no delusion that I am. In my journey, the Lord has been challenging me to change this dynamic within the church, with pastor’s wives, and women that I meet in my practice. My heart is to challenge people to be honest and real, and to support one another. I Thessalonians 5:11 says “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” For real support and encouragement, we must know one another’s reality to a degree. So, are you letting people in? Do you have trusted friends that you can honestly share your joys and struggles?
In our journey, we have served in a variety of different size churches in 7 states. We have experienced great joy, deep sorrow, numerous sweet friendships, bonds that have continued for decades, and sought to honor the Lord and be obedient with each step. When my husband and I first began our ministry journey, we had lived in the same city our entire lives, so moving was a big deal. One of our first churches as husband and wife had a profound impact on us in many ways, but it opened our eyes to some of the challenges in serving on church staff. In a short time, we experienced three staff couples go through incredible difficulty. One couple ended in divorce, one went through a process of restoration, and the other just faded back into their pre-Christ days. When asked individually why these couples had not reached out for help when they were first struggling, they all responded with some form of “I didn’t know who I could trust, and I feared the loss of my position.” Let me tell you, the enemy uses this fear and disconnection to isolate, deceive, and tear you down. Ever since this time, my heart has been to live in a way that is honest & transparent (now, people don’t always need to know all the little details. We will talk more about healthy boundaries, trust, and having friends that will challenge, confront, and hold you accountable). Ultimately, people should see the same me when I’m at church and when I’m at home. The character of Christ should be continually growing in me evidenced by the fruit of the Spirit. Now, this takes discipline and accountability, so I am a constant work in progress desiring to grow but acknowledging that I sometimes plateau.
In our time together, I hope you will feel seen, understood, encouraged, laugh a little, and leave with some practical tools to apply to life. I hope to introduce you to some of the amazing pastor’s wives in my community around the country. Their wisdom is rich and their walk is faithful and honest. Also, please feel free to respond with questions or topics that you would like for me to address…I’m building a list.
Praying for you this week to receive God’s grace and to walk in peace.