In 2019, an interesting study was published in the New England Journal of Medicine. In this study, the authors investigated changes in the brain caused by social isolation. It has been well established in other research that animals experiencing social isolation experienced negative changes in their brains’ structure and function. These authors wanted to see if similar changes occurred in humans. So, working with nine scientists living in Antarctica, the authors measured changes in the participants brains’ structure via MRI and function via cognitive tests. They found that in these participants, the experience of social isolation yielded negative changes in a specific area of the brain surrounding the hippocampus. As a result, these participants also performed worse than before on some cognitive tests. Perhaps most important of all, the researchers discovered that these negative effects were still in place six weeks later on post tests. In other words, the effects of being and feeling isolated create physical changes in the brain that negatively alter the brain’s ability to function as designed, and these changes last beyond the end of isolation.
It’s almost as if God knew what He was saying when He said, “It is not good for man to be alone.”
Being connected with and related to others is a critical part of living a meaningful, God honoring life. Relationships are the vehicle by which we have the opportunity to impact others and through which we are fulfilled. Make no mistake, loving God with everything we’ve got is of utmost importance, but there is a reason when Jesus was asked about what is most important He immediately followed with, “and the second is like it. Love your neighbors as yourself.” According to Jesus, our calling to stay in connection with others – deep, meaningful connection – is as important as loving God Himself. It is our mandate, at least in part because in relationship is how God designed us to function.
Think about what God did in Genesis at the creation of man. When God created Adam and stated, “It is not good that the man should be alone,” (Gen. 2:18a), He immediately followed with, “I will make him a helper fit for him.” (Gen. 2:18b) It would make logical sense to immediately jump to, “So God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man…” and yield the creation of Eve. But that isn’t what God did. Instead, what God decided was in Adam’s best interest was…an animal parade.
“Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name.”
Genesis 2:19 (ESV)
Why? Why in all of the creation story did God decide to do this here? Why not after Eve was created so that they could name them together? Why didn’t God just name them himself and teach Adam what they were? I believe there are two reasons. First, God truly wanted (and still wants) Adam to have dominion over these creatures, and so He gifted to Adam the right to name the animals to initiate that dominion. But, it’s the second reason that is most intriguing for us. I believe God had Adam see and name the animals at this point to recognize for himself that it is not good for man to be alone.
Can you picture the scene? Adam is standing there and animals start showing up. He has the chance to see peacocks – male and female – and lions – male and female – and elephants – male and female. And, eventually it dawns on him.
“There’s not another one like me.”
As Adam completes his task, I wonder what he felt. As he was falling into that deep sleep, I wonder how alone he felt? I wonder about the amazement he experienced when he awoke and saw Eve for the first time. What combination of relief and exhilaration did he experience at this connection unlike any other; a connection that God ordained for humans to experience, which He didn’t have to do. God could have looked at Adam at the moment he recognized for himself that it isn’t good to be alone and said to Adam what He said to Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you.” But, praise God! That’s not what happened. God designed and ordained human relationships; recognizing them as being as important as our individual relationships with Him.
This point is especially important for pastors to understand, and I think most do. The challenge is in intentionally practicing what you preach. I have never met a pastor who eschews teaching that meaningful Christ-honoring relationships with others is important; however, I have met too many pastors who talk of feeling isolated and alone in their ministry. There are ways this is unsurprising, especially among Southern Baptists. Most Southern Baptist churches are 50 members or less. Many pastors are bi-vocational, meaning that they are experiencing the split duty of full-time pay coming from a job to pay the bills while their full-time focus is on the ministry they have been called to in their local church. At this same time, while they are carrying the burden of serving as under-shepherd to their local body of believers, they experience the isolation of not being able to share the fullness of this burden with others around them. And, by the way, if they are married, their wives are experiencing this isolation too.
Friends, this cannot be. We must find intentional ways to overcome this barrier. Isolation, whether perceived or actual, has negative effects that God has warned us about from the start of Creation and which science has proven with brain scans and tests. It is not good for us to function alone. So, here are some practical suggestions.
First, get connected with other pastors as often as you can. For some of you this is really easy. It’s a weekly staff meeting at your multi-staff church. For many of you, this is a greater challenge. And, I’m telling you, you need to prioritize it. Get to monthly association meetings. Go to pastor’s conferences when you can. Find ways, whether face-to-face (preferred) or virtually (better than nothing) to connect with your brothers in the trenches with you. It’s vitally important. Second, find a man or two you can be real with to be able to share life with on a regular basis. For men especially, we don’t do this. We tend to move toward isolation, which should tell us this is something we need to work to overcome ON PURPOSE. Typically, we will not just move toward being vulnerable and say, “Hey, I’m struggling.” So find a guy or two you can trust and start building connections. These might be your fellow elders. It might be a deacon. It might be your local Director of Missions (Yes, I know it’s Associational Missions Strategist. I just like the old term better.) In any case, start making intentional efforts to overcome isolation. It’s what God wants for you, and your brain will thank you for it.