September 15th is an important day in my world. The main reason 9/15 is significant to me is because it’s the day I became a dad. My oldest, Elijah was born in the middle of the afternoon just over a year after Julie and I moved to TX so I could attend Southwestern. But 9/15 had already shown up as a significant day the year before. I remember parts of that day. It was See You At The Pole. I had Intro to Church Music with Dr. Bruce Leafblad that morning. As usual, I walked in, sat next to Shawn Brown, and went through that lecture and the rest of my day. I worked at Circuit City that night. I remember when the entire wall of TVs broke in with a news bulletin that there had been a shooting at Wedgwood Baptist Church at a Saw You At The Pole youth rally. Two days later, I remember walking into class and the desk beside me being empty. Shawn, whom I knew by name only, was killed that night.
I wish the story of Wedgwood Baptist on 9/15/99 was an isolated incident. But as the headlines too often tell us, it isn’t. There have been at least 23 church shootings since 1999, the worst of which was the shooting in Sutherland Springs, TX in 2017 that claimed the lives of 26 victims. For many in Missouri, the most salient story was the shooting of Pastor Fred Winters during Sunday morning service in nearby Maryville, IL on 3/8/2009. In the world we live and minister in today, the risk for this type of situation is real, and it generates a stress in us that we aren’t trained for in seminary. Even with my background straddling mental health and ministry, even I have only had rudimentary self-defense training as part of a job dealing with people who are struggling with serious mental illness. These situations are just not part of ministry prep, and for pastors living and working in many of our communities, there’s a paradox that reveals itself. The more successful you are ministering to your community and becoming a safe place for the hurting, the more likely you are to encounter people struggling with mental illness in ways that may become violent.
Now, I want to be very clear here. The vast majority of people struggling with mental illness never become violent. Most struggle with depression, anxiety, phobias, and substance use issues where violence against others isn’t part of their struggle. Unfortunately, for the limited few who do become violent, it is very hard to predict when violence might show up. In short, there is already significant stigma for people struggling with mental health issues. What’s worse, this stigma seems to be heightened in some church settings with an, “If you had stronger faith, you wouldn’t be struggling,” mentality. So, while most do not become violent, some exceptions do and it only becomes easier to predict when the possible violence is close at hand. In short, if you have done well serving this heavy-hearted population in your community, you run the risk of encountering someone struggling who could move toward violence.
For one pastor I talked to, he recently realized what this means for him and his family in ministry. First, there is the discussion of whether or not to have a safety/security team in the church who carry firearms on the premises. While we probably won’t all agree on whether people should or shouldn’t carry firearms on church property, I think we could easily have a unanimous opinion that having to have the discussion in the first place is a significant stressor! However, what really brought the stress of the situation home to the brother I spoke with was the realization that if something happened during a worship service, the safest thing for him to do would be to leave the room and let members of the safety team ensure the safety of his wife.
This advice runs counter to almost everything it means to be an American man. We are to protect. We are to keep safe. We are definitely NOT supposed to go in the opposite direction of the danger and leave our wives behind. From John Wayne to John Wick, movies have taught us that we confront problems like men. We certainly don’t move away from them to deescalate the situation.
Are we recognizing all of the questions that are hiding in this conversation?
- If I walk out of a room where my wife is in harm’s way, am I really being a man?
- Should we have armed guards in the church?
- Do we need to declare rules about who is and isn’t allowed to carry guns on church property?
- What would Jesus think about all of this?
Every single one of these questions is loaded with deep-seated opinions and generates significant stress for the pastor having to consider them. Simultaneously, there is no one else in the church that is likely carrying the spiritual weight of the decision or processing the spiritual and theological ramifications of the questions like the pastor. As a result, wrestling with these questions is an isolation point for the pastor who has to confront this situation and think through the different ways is flock might be impacted by whatever decisions are made. In short, these are big questions that cause a pastor to feel very stressed and very alone.
So, what should you do in this situation?
- Know that these feelings are normal. Any pastor faced with this situation is going to feel the spiritual burden for their flock, they are going to feel isolated, and they are going to feel unprepared. Recognize those feelings as normal and move forward with the other two points.
- Spend significant time in prayer. This is an answer you will see me give frequently. I give it frequently because it works. God knows the perfect answer to your situation better than you do. Ask Him. Ask for solutions and for direction toward wise counselors, which leads to the second point.
- Talk with your peers. There are two categories of peer here. First, talk to brothers and sisters in Christ who work in law enforcement. They can help you think carefully about safety issues specific to your church context. Second, this topic reveals the value of having a small network of pastors you can lean into. When you can talk to brothers who are struggling with similar questions, it obliterates those needless feelings of isolation. After all, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” (Proverbs 11:14 ESV)