If I asked you to name the first jobs that come to mind that promote burnout, what would you say? ER Doctors? Nurses? Policemen and firefighters? Special education teachers? These are all accurate answers, but many may not realize that Pastor makes the list. Within the scope of the counseling side of pastoral ministry, pastors encounter people struggling with life’s hurts, including traumatic experiences. Whether we are talking about a seasoned church member who grew up in a physically abusive home, or a new convert who had an alcoholic parent, or a woman who just left the husband who cheated on and sexually assaulted her regularly, pastors deal with people who are going through life’s struggles.
Likewise, these same pastors often have two hurdles to cross. First, they frequently have very little training in how to counsel people who are struggling. When I first started seminary at Southwestern, I was an MDiv student. I remember a very full schedule across several years. I also remember minimal room for any counseling classes. While that may have changed some over the past 20 years, conversations with pastors across the country have revealed that the majority of pastors have little to no coursework or experience with providing counseling for major issues, such as processing trauma. Second, many pastors have their own challenging past. During the past month, I’ve had two conversations with two separate pastors on the same theme. There seems to be a pattern for many pastors: They are men who grew up in challenging circumstances, which God used to mold their desire to help others and reveal their calling to the pastorate. When this combination – someone with a challenging past working with people struggling through trauma of their own – occurs, there are additional risks for the helper if they haven’t worked through their own past issues.
Think of it like this. Maybe you didn’t play this game when you were a kid. Growing up in the Appalachian Mountains, every once and awhile, you would have a couple of boys (sometimes including yours truly) come up with the bright idea of taking turns punching each other in the arm harder and harder until one gives up, thus declaring the other the winner. Invariably, win or lose, both boys would have bruises on their arms for awhile. In fact, a reminder of the bruise would show up at some point during the day, usually around the time you bumped into something unexpected.
This is similar to how trauma works. Traumatic events are things that beat you up in your past. Some of those events were one-off events. Other times though, someone might get their proverbial arm wailed on repeatedly. Either way, visible or not, those events leave bruises. When a pastor has a problem-infused history and that pastor also works with people who have been beat up by life, occasionally, those people’s stories bump into the pastor’s bruises, and if that pastor has never actively treated those injuries, the help he is trying to provide could prove to be his undoing.
Think about it. For anyone who has a challenging background as part of their story, they deal with the risk of having past pain impact their current situation. When you take that background, and combine it with the spiritual reality that there is a real evil one and there is nothing he would like more than to take out a good pastor, the need to work through those issues becomes all the more preeminent for any shepherd of a local church. Understand, the counsel I’m giving here is the same counsel I’ve given to pastors-in-training and counselors-in-training alike. If you aren’t taking care of yourself, it’s going to be tough to help people work through their issues. It’s just not authentic.
So, the question becomes, what do you do about it? Here are a few suggestions.
- Take it to the Lord in prayer. Be intentional about spending time in prayer specifically focused on surrendering your past to Jesus. He’s big enough to handle those things that you cannot, and He perfectly understand receiving pain He didn’t earn. Moreover, He wants those things from you.
- Gain some godly counsel. This one feels like it can be tricky. It would be easy for a pastor to think, “I’m the person people come to for counsel. Who am I supposed to turn to? How would it look if I need to talk about my stuff?” The reality is that pastors should be first in line to talk about places in their history that need some healing.
- Extend forgiveness where forgiveness is needed. By far, when someone has been through challenging past experiences, the problem I’ve seen cause the most problems while within the victim’s power to change, is the extension of forgiveness over past hurts. Holding on to the hurts or grudges from the past accomplishes nothing of value for the pastor or his flock. So, work on obeying the Lord’s command and forgive.